Lost in the Torment of Sanity
by idonrlycarenemore
Summary: She looked at him with a question in her eyes, with the same defiant temper she'd always had. 'What are you doing here' She asked. He didn't care. This was what he wanted. Not what anyone else said. He leaned across to her, and kissed her. Full summary c
1. Walking In

Walking In

SUMMARY

Hermione's music-passionate, and keeps feeling presences in her room. Little does she know that's it her old enemy watching her. The tangled mysteries of both hate and immeasurable disgust flow through, closely intwined with, something else.

CHAPTER 1

Hermione dodged everyone, dressed in her cloak, black, swamping her whole, thin, perfectly formed body.

She pulled the hood up over her brown hair, shading her eyes from the view of the dimly-lit area, muttering curses as she stepped on her hem.

She walked up the stairs, up and up, until she reached the seventh floor.

She slipped into the wall, which transformed into an archway even as she thought of it.

The room was dimly lit by candles, several of them placed in a small circle, only meant for the person sitting in it and a guitar.

She pulled out the guitar that appeared next to her, almost materialising from mid-air.

She opened the case, and fingered the perfect strings, touching the cherry wood of the guitar, once again feeling a sense of belonging and identity.

She sat on the beautiful red spanish carpet, surrounded by the candles, her face eerie in the golden light.

She hummed as she played, her voice sounding strangely strong, but weak, and slightly out of tune.

Almost immediately as she stopped, she thought she felt a presence leave the room, as if inspired by her playing, it made her nervous.

She shuddered as she got up, and dusted herself off, straightening her cloak.

She blew out all the candles, on by one. It was dark.

* * *

It had been approximately twenty-six years since Lucius Malfoy had last walked these halls. The scent and enclosure of Hogwarts was almost, illuminating, although he himself had preferred the sinister hallways of Durmstrang, his seventh-year transfer. He looked around, slowly, and removed the invisibilty cloak that was swept over his shoulders, and turned to the stone archway.

'Specialis Revelo.' He said. The Room of Requirement stayed still.

He tried all the curses he knew. Eventually, he resorted to verbal curses, moaning loudly at the wall.

'You damn wall! Why the bloody hell won't you open up for me! You never fucking did when I was here as a student, will you as a teacher? Do you open up for anyone with my blood? Do you open up for my son?' Lucius cried.

The Room of Requirement remained fast, and the sound of Lucius Malfoy's weeping was inaudible.

He had left something there that he could never get back.

His innocence.

he had been chastised for doing this, wreaking this extreme pain upon himself.

The Dark Lord was very unforgiving, his mistakes had proved it to be so.

He just wanted a fucking drink.

Some calm spirits to soothe his frazzled nerves.

* * *

A/n- I told you I'd be massively changing it! The whole damn Part II is removed! As always, Read and Review!


	2. Surprise

Princess Perfect

Professor McGonagall waved her wands.

The papers were handed out, different papers for each person to mark.

'Alright class, the first seven questions were review from fifth year, and the first was:'

Hermione was barely listening, all the questions on the person's paper were correct. It was Malfoy's paper.

McGonagall read out the names.

She reached H. Granger.

'O.' Said a voice.

She reached D. Malfoy.

'O,' Hermione said in a surprised voice.

Murmurs of equal surprise echoed throughout the room.

'Honestly, I ought to give you all more homework! Surely you'd realized that Everyone should have receieved outstanding on this! What a surprise that the only two who got the O were Hermione and Draco!' McGonagall said, enjoying a private joke.

Slight applause echoed throughout the room.

Hermione could feel harry and Ron's gazes burning into her. It surprised her, even!

(A/N, kind of crappy i no, but it gets better)

It was lunch.

Hermione hadn't uttered a word to Ron and Harry, who promptly stopped her as she left the room.

'Whoa Mione, did you catch Malfoy's face?'

'Red, I tell you, enough to match Uncle Vernon's!' laughed Harry.

'Ha-ha guys. I'm late enough as it is.' She said, shovelling macaroni pie and chicken casserole down her throat.

'Mione? Are you OK? You're being a bit, strange.' Harry said.

Hermione got up, and ran to the bathroom.

She'd been doing it since she was small. She shoved two fingers down her throat, throwing up in the toilet. she brushed her teeth furiously, annoyed with Malfoy.

She'd been controlling herself, reluctantly. For the past three months, at least.

It was surprising that the simple revelation that Malfoy was simply, well, smart that mostly unnerved her. There was also the fact that she was disgusted in herself for being disgusted in him.

Life's screwed like that, she told herself.

After she flushed the toilet, Lavender and Parvati rushed into the loo.

'Merlin, Lav, did you _see_ the look on Malfoy's face today! So unbearably sexy!' Parvati said.

'Yyeeesss!' Laughed Lavender.

'And on Hermione's! She looked like someone had shoved a load of gillyweed down her throat! My God, did she have to explode because she was _equal_ to somebody?'

Hermione stomped out of the cubicle.

'Oh, erm, hello Hermione. How's it going?' Lavender said, her face slightly pale.

Parvati had gone dead white, the merriment and rosiness of her cheeks gone.

'Er yes, how's it going, Hermione?' Lavender nudged Parvati, whose mouth was open.

'Fine.' Hermione said icily.

Lavender left, dragging a slightly petrified Parvati by the arm.


	3. Silent Escape

Chapter 3

Hermione looked at herself in the mirror.

This wasn't one of her favourite habits, but today she had nothing to do.

As usual she had finished every last iota of her work for the next month, and had gone over everything in her brain, struggling to be perfect. She had to be perfect.

Nothing was wrong with her. Yet.

Her eyebrows were nicely combed, her cheeks were red, and her mouth was shiny.

Her hair looked liked someone had tried to tame it with a lawnmower, but then again, what else is new? She licked her teeth to removed any filth that might have the unfortunate annoyance to happen to land on her pearly whites.

She draped a cloak over her head, grinding her teeth nervously.

FLASHBACK, Summer, 1996

'Darling, Hermione, please stop!'

Descansar Granger watched her daughter slowly drive the compass point into the palm of her hand, eyes closed.

Robert, her middle-aged, somewhat balding father stood, up, in a rage.

'Hermione Granger! Drop that at once!'

He tried to wrench it from her, succeeding in cutting a slice across her wrist, thin, but bleeding profusely.

Hermione stared at her hand, willing herself for it to go away, for the blood to stop.

She hadn't wanted this!

She felt shamed, knee-deep in dog shit, and as close to suicide as to life.

The pressure on the ten year old was enormous.

A year later, she received her letter.

Her freedom was here, and not in the form of the Angel Of Death.

It was a passage to safety and knowledge, one of the most craved things known to man.

Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

PRESENT DAY

Hermione had her headphones over her head.

My Chemical Romance blared in her head.

'Like a match, you incinerate, the lives...tonight, what's the worst that i could say.

Things are better if I stay,

So long,

and Goodnight,

So long,

and Goodnight.'

Story of her life, well, not really, especially since it was written about the main guy's dead grandmother, (happy?Anya) but when she read it, she felt as though she identified with it somehow, she felt, different. Almost holy. It was astonishing, really.

She fell asleep, listening to the soft beating of her heart.

Thanx to all who reviewed!

**Natural-181**  
**2005-10-15  
ch 2, signed**

**it's alright but very confusing if you could please update asap...cuz this fanfic is confusing...:D**

thanx much,but it's supposed to be confusing in a dark, weird way. I thought people would cry because Hermione's bulimic (eats a lot, then throws up). In the fourth book, in the beginning, Hermione was always stuffing herself to go the "library", but i thought it would be good to make her have an eating disorder...


	4. Twisted Memories

Twisted Memories

**OK guys, time for another exciting episode in the life of H.Granger, suicidal, bulimic, crazy, sixth-year (yeah, i know j.k. rowling wrote a book, but i hate the damn plot, and the ships, ugh, so i made up my own...), and Hermione is flashbacking (such word? tell me...) to when she was in hogwarts, not in hogwarts, whatever, but i won't reveal why she's screwed up until the end (ha-ha, i'm evil), yeah so please review!**

Harry walked up to Hermione.

'How you doing?' He asked, looking at her face.

(A/N, this is NOT a Harry/Hermione fic, ew, they are like relatives here! PLS don't make it into a Harry/Hermione fic!).

Hermione looked up, and smiled sadly.

'OK, I still have like 500 pages of McGonagall's homework to do.' She said.

Lies, all lies, she knew, but how else was she to tell Harry that she preferred writing music than hanging out with him?

She grinned, and then Ron ran up to her.

'Hi guys. I've got news.' Ron said, in the way he always did when he was making a big deal out of nothing.

'The new DADA teacher, hopefully.' Said Harry.

Ron's face fell.

'How'd you know?' HE asked.

Harry laughed. 'I found out ages ago.'

'Don't ruin the surprise.' Snapped Hermione.

The other two laughed.

'THe new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher is..the tag team of Rufus Scrimgeour and Lucius Malfoy!' They chorused.

Hermione gasped. 'What?'

Harry smirked. 'Yes, Malfoy's damned death eater dad, and the Minister of Magic.'

Hermione still looked shocked.

'Are you sure?' She asked.

Ron stepped him.

'Bloody sure, Fred and George got detention for saying the word "duck" in their class, apparently it sounded like something else.' Ron sniggered.

'Served them damn right's what I said.' Ron said.

'At least they're not some bloody swots like Lockhart was.' harry replied, matter-of-fact.

'This is serious, Harry! Everyone could be spying on you! How did Malfoy get out of Azkaban?' Asked Hermione.

Harry laughed pitilessly, and rubbed her thumb and his forefinger together.

'How d'you bribe a dementor?' Asked Hermione.

Harry laughed in the same cold way. 'What dementors? He bribed Rufus Scrimgeour!' He said.

Hermione gasped.

Ron looked nervous. 'HEre's Malfoy now, he's a real bugger when the MOM's not around, around him he's sweet, sickly...'

'Hello Weasley.' Malfoy said. Ron swore badly.

'Fifty points from Gryffindor, detention in my office.' Malfoy said with a cool, slimy voice.

'Potter.' He addressed Harry, whose scar began to burn.

He turned up him nose at Hermione, wrinkling it as he passed.

'Bloody hell, he scared me.' Ron said, bleeding from where he jumped.

'Episkey.' HErmione said, looking nervous.

'He's just sick.' Harry said, his face screwed up in pain. 'Real sick.'

That was three months ago.


	5. Second Sight

Chapter 5

Second Sight

Hi everybody, it's another chapter in Hermione's Life, yeah, I know she's a bit of a know-it-all, cough but it's all a clever ruse! Ok, so this chapter's really weird, it kind of takes a peek into Harry's life (I'm actually not too sure how this relates to Hermione...yet) if you enjoy pls review!

Itwas barely a twitter.

A sound, unable to be heard by anyone.

A piercing, sound, like a dagger through the silence.

But ever so quiet.

The summery field.

A crack, and a small space of elite probability.

Crash.

All of a sudden, blood rain poured.

'The end is near,'

A high, cold voice said silkily.

A slight breath, given by the voice, and every plant in the field died.

Poisoned by the mere breath of a living creature.

Or was it?

'The End is near, as is the beginning.'

The voice poured both distrust and infatuation.

Of death.

Of cruelty.

Of hate.

Of semi-immortal life.

Harry Potter awakened, thoughts swimming in his head.

'Draco Malfoy.'

The pale, thin, grey-eyed boy stood up.

'Psyathachassie.' The man crooned.

The boy looked determinedly at the man.

'Hethsssayassshhaaasssaayyooouuu.' He said, working his tongue over the silky words.

A man stopped beside the room, old and frail.

The rasping noise that filled his ear was terrible.

He just wanted some money for food.

'Some silver, please.' His voice cracked, ever so polite.

The man stood up.

'Psyathayasssuuparrrssseyyya?' He rasped, clutching his pocket.

The thin boy hid his head.

The man laughed, cackling evilly.

'Do it Draco.' He said.

The boy looked ashamed, and stared the old man in the eye.

'I can't, master.' Draco said.

The man's lip curled.

'Very well then. I'll do it.'He snapped.

The old man started to run, afraid of the consequences.

His old bones snapped, and he fell.

'Avada Ked--'

The man ran away.

'You healed him Malfoy. Imagine the danger...'

'Be quiet, _Master_.' The boy said with contempt, masked by the commanding air in his voice.

'You truly are the Dark Lord's most beloved, sparing muggle's life.' The man snapped.

'Not are, Master, but will be.'

**A/N how is it? P.S., keep the reviews coming!**


	6. Tourniquet

Chapter 6

Tourniquet

Have you all heard evanescence's song, tourniquet? If you haven't LISTEN TO IT! A Tourniquet is like a bandage, if like ur arm's chopped off and ur spewing blood, all that jazz.now as you can see, Malfoy's really starting to get into her, i mean _really_, but he's still arguing with himself about it. Should i post p.o.vs or not? I hate writing in the third person. peaches-Anya

Malfoy had seen a side of Granger he'd never seen before. And he didn't mean inside her pants.

Why did he think that? Gross.

She probably wouldn't want him inside her pants anyway...Wait, he didn't want to be inside her pants anyway,

So what the hell was this thought about anyway?

Onto more pressing matters.

Potter.

It was so infitely gay and shitty, but Malfoy was in trouble.

He'd knifed Potter.

Who really gave a shit but Potter himself?

He'd knifed him because Potter knew something, something that he needed badly.

The bloody bugger wouldn't sit still so that Malfoy could perform crucio, so he'd knifed him.

So sue him.

So he couldn't think about getting into the Mudblood's pants anyway, otherwise he'd be fucked.

What was with the Mudblood's pants anyway?

She looked better in a skirt, BTW.

WHAT THE HELL?

it was this kind of kinky shit that his father had warned him about, fraternization with bloody fucking mudbloods and blood-traitors.

Why the fucking hell was he thinking about his father for?

Damn him, damn him to hell.

And damn his bloody fucking mother too, for bringing him into this world.

Damn them all.

The walls were closing in.

Shit.

* * *

Hermione checked over her work.

Arithmancy--Check

Transfiguration--Check

Potions--Check

She ran her fingers over her Ancient Runes study, and found a spare piece of parchment.

It had been one of her old poems, from when she was in third year.

She read it.

_Sometimes what can feel like love,_

_Is infatuation._

_I've never felt like anyone like this before,_

_And I've cause him bodily harm._

_I'm not even sure I like him,_

_I feel like I'm desecrated._

_I open my eyes is astonishment,_

_In realization of the truth._

_He's stolen my heart,_

_The bastard._

_The bloody fucking brute._

Hermione laughed, and realized then who it was about.

Chills crept up her spine.

He had the power to kill her, with a flick of his wand.

She wanted to stop it,

to end this infatuation.

But the mere thought of him made herfeel burning on her skin,

And she began to cry.

It sent tingles up her spine.

Shit.


	7. Divine Intervention

Chapter 7-Divine Intervention

A/N-like the last chappie?

Major short, kind of fluffy.

FLASHBACK

"Oh Lucius, are you sure this will work?" Begged Narcissa, clutching her small, tight belly.

'Dear, in sixth months, the Dark Lord will murder me, unless I can redeem myself. I need this child."

Narcissa crumpled, her silver blonde hair falling around her.

She cried, her pearly tears staining her silky robes.

A pregnant pause.

'Lucius! My son, my only son!"

"He will be a great son, Narcissa, and this is how we determine our fate." Said Lucius.

"I will have a son. A great son." She said automatically.

She didn't notice how he crooned, "Imperio."

She was floating on air, light as the sun.

The voice filled her head.

"Stay calm, Narcissa. Now here's what I want you to do…"

Draco couldn't stop.

Thinking I Mean.

N.E.W.T's weren't important, it was how good with the Dark Lord you were.

Draco looked at the mirror.

He saw, a man, swaddled in black.

He saw his mother!

Eyes filled with tears, her stomach tight in her tight robes.

The man was talking to her.

He lifted his hood.

It was himself!

No, it was Lucius.

Just like swotty Potter, he had been doomed to look like his father.

But unlike the prat, he actually hated it.

He breathed in an out, restraining several sobs.

The mirror didn't show him things, he was sure of that.

The answer came from deep, inside his head.

Inside himself.

Hermione rushed to the ROR.

She needed to play now.

She found, not her instruments. But a boy.

Staring into a gilt-edged mirror, his eyes glassy.

"Stop make them stop, I can't, I can't…'

Hermione dropped her jaw.

'_Malfoy_?' She said in disbelief.

"Fine, Granger. Laugh at me. But I've seen you. The real you. D'you want to borrow my knife, Granger?' He asked Hermione.

'You're sick, real sick.' She snapped.

'Serpensortia! Sychaessaisesso." He crooned.

A snake slithered up to Hermione, its coils wrapping around her neck.

'Tell anyone Granger, and I will kill you.' He said.

He smiled at her, lightly, and kissed the coils of the snake.

Hermione gasped.

'Diffindo.' She whispered.

The snake cut in two.

She felt dead, she was dead.

She crumpled to the floor.

Malfoy left quietly, regret filling his mind.

It was ten minutes later when Hermione plucked up the courage to leave.

She walked into Herbology, apologized to Professor Sprout, and sat with Ron and Harry.

'You OK, 'Mione?"

Hermione shook her head.

Ron looked amazed when she told them.

Harry was infuriated.

She began to cry, her heart pounding in her chest.


	8. Potter Problems

Dreaming Green

A/n, i'm not exactly sure i like the title for this chapter, maybe i'll change it later, anyone like me new chappie? I thought it was kinda lame, sorry if it was too profane, tell me if you can't read it for fear of grounding, i'll be careful in later chapters. kk, this one's kinda fluffy, if you can have fluff in an angst, whatever...let's get this show on the road.

Malfoy needed to get to the Gryffindor dormitories, to collect _information_, without any _distractions_.

Meaning not-fit-to-wipe-off-the-Malfoy-family's-shoes distracting.

Fuck, he meant Granger. Why was that so hard to say?

_S__he's a mudblood, Draco_. God! He was being so stupid, so damn stupid!

His dad would tell him to simply do the distraction (A/N, do, ha-ha, get it? I kill myself), and get on with it.

But he couldn't do that.

Could he?

He walked up to the boys' dormitories.

Weasley was snoring abominably, Longbottom was twitching nervously in his bed.

Potter lay there, safe and sound.

How could he be so happy? And he was so, alright, so fucked up!

Potter had friends.

He had girls.

He had her.

Granger.

He did it, retrieved Potter's memory, and slipped it in his porta-pensieve.

He walked up to the girls' dormitories, making a spell so that he could go up the stairs without sliding down the slide.

Hogwarts had probably done it to stop bitches from entering the room.

But who would do that?

Oh right. Him.

He opened the gilt-edged door.

He passed Brown, Patil, and some other Gryffindor girls, until he found her.

He put his wand through her hair.

a memory came out.

_'Infatuation...obsession...not ron, not harry..._

Why did he feel like he was doing something wrong.

'Screw it.' He muttered, not noticing her look at him from under her eyelids, before uttering a single, silent scream.

'Damn Granger! Shut the hell up, OK!'

She looked at him questioningly.

'God Malfoy! How the hell did you get here? And why the hell are you in the girls' dormitories!'

She reprimanded him, as she had always done.

Because.

It was the same feeling he'd had when she'd slapped him.

Intense something or another.

He reached across to her, held her close, and kissed her.

A/N, nice cliffhanger, as you can see, it's becoming sort of cliched now, pls review!


	9. Harry's Problems

Hermione didn't notice Draco Malfoy walk into the Room of Requirement, hands on his hips. He was about to speak, when he heard Hermione pick up the ROR's guitar.

The song was her own, and it was sweet, and sad, not angst/drama-ridden, like Linkin' Park's.

She began to sing while she strummed.

'And the music it takes the pain away, and everything's going to feel alright. And as the music courses through my porcelain veins, yes I know that it's going to be alright.' She stopped. Pausing to remove her wand from her pocket. Malfoy raised his wand. Hermione got up, and slowly turned around.

But even as she did, Malfoy was gone. She shrugged her shoulders, and resumed her music.

Harry put his hands on Ginny Weasley's shoulders, looking with a puppy-dog pout look in his eye.

'Look, Gin.'

'Just a sec, Harry.'

She pulled a memory from her long, red hair, and put it in her porta-pensieve.

'Remember this?' She asked, as a picture of her kissing Harry appeared on the scene.

Harry smiled, but it was a sad smile, as if to say, that he remembered, but it was a sad memory.

Ginny kissed him quickly, and ran off, not wanting to hear what Harry was going to say.

'Oi! Ron!' Yelled Harry. Ron came in, dragging a Pansy Parkinson by the wrist.

'Oh, hi Harry.' He said. Harry bug-eyed him. Pansy smiled coyly.

'Bye Ronnikins.' She said, kissing the end of his nose. Ron turned red as she ran off. '

'Look, Ron, it's about Gin…' Ron opened his eyes.

'Are you breaking up with my sister, 'cause if you are, I'll kick you're a—'

'Ron! I love Ginny, I really do, but now that Voldemort's been destroyed, maybe Gin won't like me anymore, y'know?' Asked Harry.

Ron considered the question, after habitually flinching. 'Ahh, no.'

'Look Ron, Ginny says that she likes me so much because I'm always out saving the wizarding world, maybe she'll want to break up now that I've nothing to do.

'Look, Harry, you're mental. She _started_ liking you because of that, but now she likes you because you're _Harry_, her hero.' Ron said.

Harry laughed unkindly and gestured to Pansy, outside in the corridor.

'I'm just saying.' He smirked. Ron sadly shook his head. 'Pansy, now she's a different matter.'

Harry laughed, and shook his head.

'You really are something, Ron.' he replied.

Parkinson liked Ron because he helped Harry defeat the Dark Lord, and virtually most of his supporters.

But the horcruxes, there was still more.

But Gin, would Gin still love him?

The devil part of him screamed, 'Why Potter? You're not perfect? she'll hate your guts.'

But the angel part screamed, 'harry, she'll always love you...'

Harry listened to the angel.

He was always right.


	10. Confrontation

Chaptern 10

Confrontation

Hermione looked at the wall.

Why was Malfoy doing this?

Was it some ploy to make her seem like a total ho, then publish her bad name worldwide?

Of the wizarding world, that is.

Why did he hate her so much?

She was just being herself, what was so wrong with that?

But when he had kissed her, it was like the covers were coming off.

She felt kind of strange, and she had felt bittersweet.

The whole world was kind of, opening up, you know?

She had somehow found that it was really not a ploy for her life, but for her love.

Eew, did she just use love and Malfoy in the same thought?

Everything was truly being messed up now.

It only took a while for her to head out of the library, and straight into the angry face of Pansy Parkinson.

* * *

Draco stood up as soon as he heard the scream. 

'Damn it!' He cursed as he hurried to put on his robes.

He rushed out of bed, running to find Hermione pushed against the wall, Parkinson with her wand at her throat.

'You selfish, mudblood, traitor, cheater, damn, know-it-all BITCH!' Pansy screamed.

'You complete ho! How _dare _you! _How fucking dare you_!' Pansy screamed again.

'Don't you push me!' Hermione yelled, pushing Pansy to the ground.

'Bitch!'

A group of people stopped outside of the library, waiting in the corridor to see what Pansy would do.

'Where d'you fathom in your tiny, insignificant brain that I would _ever _touch _Malfoy_!' Hermione screeched.

'Don't lie, bitch, Patil said she saw you!'

'Don't call me a bitch!'

'B-iii-ttcchhh!' Pansy taunted. 'Go on! What are you going to do, Granger, raise your hand at me! That really doesn't work on us, no matter how much it works on the teachers!'

Pansy smiled triumphantly.

'Furnunculus!' Cried Hermione, at the same time as someone else cried, 'Densaugeo!'

Pansy's face erupted into huge boils, and her teeth elongated so rapidly she strangely resembled a vampire.

'Langueo!' Cried Hermione.

Pansy began to step backward, her eyes rolling madly in her head, then she fell backwards, her head hitting the stone cold floor.

'Madam Pomfrey! She needs Madam Pomfrey!' She cried, nervously wondering what punishment she would receive from nearly severing Pansy's head.

'Stop it, Granger!' Snapped a voice.

It was Malfoy.

'Leave her alone!' Hermione snapped.

'Shut up, know-it-all.'

'Man-whore.'

'If you don't shut the hell up, someone's going to come for Pansy, and rat you out!'

'Well let them! She needs---'

'Silencio!' Malfoy screeched.

Hermione's mouth opened, but she did not speak.

'If you think, I'm going to let you get in so much trouble because Pansy's a---' He never did get to call Pansy whatever he was going to, because in burst Madam Pomfrey.

'Parkinson! My Granger, what happened?' Madam Pomfrey spied Hermione glaring at Malfoy, then she put two and two together to make five.

'Mr. Malfoy! Come with me! And you, Granger, _finite incantatem_.' Madam Pomfrey said.

'Come along, tarry not!' Laughed Sir Cadogan, the painting, as he rushed through other portraits to follow Malfoy and Mme. Pomfrey.

Hermione was about to protest, but they sped away, angrily.

**lemons12  
2005-11-19  
ch 1, reply**

**ok...my grandma could write better then you and she's dead...this story made no sense at all**

Anya: Thanx for the review, but if you hate my story so much, read the rest of it, then piss (oh sorry, cuss) me off.

Peaches,

Anya.


	11. This is Where it All Begins

**XxwoopsiforgotmynamexX**  
**2005-11-22  
ch 3, ****reply**

**I really hate you, you're trying to make Hermione Gothic or Emo (not that you have know what they mean. God, MCR? You put MCR in a draco/granger fic? What the hell is wrong with you? Why did you make her belimic? I know my chemical romance, not truly, but by heart, and i know that song was esspecially for their grandmother who died weeks before the song was made, story of her life? story of her life?I truly hate you, i truly do...**

A/N, ohhh, thanks sweetie! Lol, but here are some errors with your review! a. Gothic/emo-Dark, eerie, black, weirded, altogether scary. Hermione's just "misunderstood" LOl, b. what's MCR? c. belimic-bulimic. d. esspecially-especially. e. oh, really? didn't care. f. it is the story of her life, as pertaining to the song how she sees it. And how d'you know her Grandma didn't die? LOL. g. Before you hate me, read the rest of my story!

Sorry but I just had to get some laughs in!

Peaches,

Anya

**Chapter 11**

This is where it all begins

Malfoy came out of the headmaster's office, his face impassive.

'Look, Granger--'

'Why'd you do that?' Hermione interrupted him, staring him down.

'What now?'

'Well, y'know, curse Pansy, get me out of trouble--' She stopped.

Malfoy heard her unspoken words.

'Look Granger--'

'Why though?' Hermione asked, intent on getting a straight answer.

Then Harry and Ron zoomed down the corridor.

'Sod off Malfoy.' Snapped Ron.

Malfoy turned on his heel.

'Keep your great big bushy head down, Granger.' was all he said.

'Whatever.' Snapped Harry.

'Up, Ron. Let's go.' Snapped Hermione.

Hermione left, thoughts pounding through her head.

a/n, sorry, major short chappie, but that review was so funny! Pls read my other stories, I'm kinda disappointed that Nothing but a Memory only got 1 review, and if anyone has anything they'd like to tell me, write me at I'll put the link in me and melmel's profile, you can see hers 2.

Peaches,

Anya


	12. Arithmancy

Chapter 12

Arithmancy

A/N, thanx for all those xtrawonderful reviews! I especially liked all my bad ones, I laughed so hard at lemon12's and XXwoopsiforgotmynameXX or something like that, and thanx 2 all the good ones too!

**MadameRowena**  
**2005-11-21  
ch 10, ****reply** **it doesn't exactly not make sense. You just have to be able to think...i'm guessing that most of the readers dont use their brains to sort everything out. I love the story! Keep writing.**

Thanx, at least someone here is sane! So, I'll try to make this chappie longer.

**Ms Ronupert Grint**  
**2005-11-22  
ch 11, ****reply**

**It was a good chappie, but TOO SHORT! Make it lomguer! c'mon! anyways...bye **

Geni

Sorry Geni! OK, should I put in some Dramione fluff? LOL, no! I'm going to write a poll. Check YES, NO, or MAYBE. LOL. Seriously though, write reviews, and check one! KK?

Peaches,

Anya

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The weird spiky shapes were beginning to stick into Hermione's mind.

She'd practiced her Ancient Runes over and over.

In _French_.

OK, she'd been obsessing, but next year was N.E.W.Ts.

And she graduated next year.

And she might...

(be headgirl.)

Hermione had always had this weird fantasy about being headgirl.

The badge, the lights, the camera!

The cuisine, the chaise longue, the idea of enjoying a demi-tasse while relaxing on her own beautiful corridors, chastising innocent first-years. The bliss!

(a/n. check me and my twelve-cent french vocab out!)

She sighed.

Parvati and Lavender would also be perfect for the job.

So would Padma, or even Pansy.

All of a sudden, Professor Vector snapped her out of her dreams.

'Miss Granger! When followingthe rules from Arithmancy, what can one do? Explain fully please!'

Hermione recited her answer at top speed.

'Following the rules of Arithmancy, one can predict the future by taking certain elements from a name. Predicting is divided into three groups: the heart number, the life number, and the personality number. The heart number is determined using only the vowels in a person's name. Likewise the life number by using only consonants. The personality number is determined when both vowels and consonances are used. A similar approach is using the numbers from a person's birthday to conclude their personality number. This, however, is a form of numerology.'

'Excellent Granger! You, Malfoy, answer!'

Hermione's mouth went dry.

_Who? MALFOY? Malfoy didn't even take Arithmancy! Malfoy_!

Then she remembered that she'd never had it with the Slytherins.

Half of the students in Arithmancy weren't here this year.

The Gryffindors usually took it with the Ravenclaws, but this year they had all been dumped into one big group, although it was a small class of twenty-three or so pupils.

Most students had been dropping the subject steadily after third year, choosing instead to choose Muggle Studies or Ancient Runes.

Hermione had picked up Ancient Runes, after brutally dropping Care of Magical Creatures.

She was so absorbed in her thoughts that she hadn't noticed Malfoy answer.

'Excellent Ms. Granger, Mr. Malfoy. Here is your Arithmancy homework, please do not use self-answering quills, your pen may explode, and you would've lost about, hmm. six galleons I believe. Good day, children!'

Hermione spied the Homework. It was a review paper, and she began to read

**A/n, I included this for those who want to learn Arithmancy, if not, please scroll down the bold!**

**Arithmancy, an elective at Hogwarts, is an ancient system of fortune-telling based on names and numbers. For over 2000 years, people have used arithmancy to analyze their strengths and weaknesses, overcome obstacles, and predict the future. Hermoine probably likes this system of divination because it isn't based on interpreting fuzzy images or giving meaning to random shapes and squiggles, but on mathematical calculations you can do with a pencil and paper--or in this case, right here on your computer. **

If you want to understand how arithmancy works, read the next section. If you just want to use the arithmancy calculator, scroll down. **How it Works  
**

**The first step in analyzing a name (or word) by arithmancy is to convert it to a set of numbers. Each letter of the alphabet is assigned a numerical value between 1 and 9, according to the following chart: ****1** **2** **3** **4** **5** **6** **7** **8** **9** **A** **B** **C** **D** **E** **F** **G** **H** **I** **J** **K** **L** **M** **N** **O** **P** **Q** **R** **S** **T** **U** **V** **W** **X** **Y** **Z** **The letters A, J, and S have the value of 1. B, K, and T have the value of 2, and so forth. ****To analyze a name by hand, you write it down, and beneath each letter enter the corresponding numerical value. For example:** **N** **I** **C** **H** **O** **L** **A** **S** **F** **L** **A** **M** **E** **L** **5** **9** **3** **8** **6** **3** **1** **1** **6** **3** **1** **4** **5** **3** **Now add up the numbers. In this case, the result is 58.** **If the total is more than 9-which it usually is-it must be "reduced" to a single digit by adding the component numbers together, more than once, if necessary. Thus, 58 reduces to 13 (5 + 8 equals 13) which reduces to 4 (1 + 3 equals 4). **

**The final result (in this example, 4) is known as the Character Number. _This number indicates the general personality type of the individual_. ****The next number calculated is the Heart Number. _This number represents the individual's inner life and can indicate desires and fears hidden from others_. The Heart Number is the reduced total of all the vowels in the name.** **This final number calculated is the Social Number. _This number represents the outer personality, the face an individual shows to the outside world_. The Social Number is the reduced total of all the consonants in the name. **

**Then refer to the chart of traditional arithmancy interpretations to see what your numbers mean. **

******What the Numbers Mean**

******1** **This is the number of the individual, the solitary unit. Ones are independent, focused, and determined. They set a goal and stick to it. They are leaders and inventors. Ones find it difficult to work with others and don't like to take orders. They can be self-centered, egotistical, and domineering. They are often loners. **

******2** **Two represents interaction, two-way communication, cooperation, and balance. Twos are imaginative, creative, and sweet natured. Peace, harmony, commitment, loyalty, and fairness are characteristic. But two also introduces the idea of conflict, opposing forces, and the contrasting sides of things: night and day, good and evil. Twos can be withdrawn, moody, self-conscious and indecisive. **

******3** **Three represents the idea of _completeness_ or _wholeness_, as in the threesomes _past-present-future_ and _mind-body-spirit_. Three indicates talent, energy, an artistic nature, humor, and social ease. Threes are often lucky, easygoing, and highly successful, but they can also be unfocused, easily offended, and superficial. **

******4** **Like a table that rests solidly on four legs, four indicates stability and firmness. Fours enjoy hard work. They are practical, reliable and down to earth; they prefer logic and reason to flights of fancy. They are good at organization and getting things done. Like the cycle of the four seasons, they are also predictable. They can be stubborn, suspicious, overly practical and prone to angry outbursts. The conflicts possible in "two" are doubled in four. **

******5** **Five is the number of instability and imbalance, indicating change and uncertainty. Fives are drawn to many things at once but commit to none. They are adventurous, energetic and willing to take risks. They enjoy travel and meeting new people but may not stay in one place very long. Fives can be conceited, irresponsible, quick-tempered and impatient. **

******6** **Six represents harmony, friendship, and family life. Sixes are loyal, reliable, and loving. They adapt easily. They do well in teaching and the arts, but are often unsuccessful in business. They are sometimes prone to gossip and complacency.**

******7** **Perceptive, understanding, and bright, sevens enjoy hard work and challenges. They are often serious, scholarly, and interested in all things mysterious. Originality and imagination are more important than money and material possessions. Sevens can also be pessimistic, sarcastic, and insecure. **

******8** **Eight indicates the possibility of great success in business, finance, and politics. Eights are practical, ambitious, committed, and hard working. They can also be jealous, greedy, domineering, and power-hungry. Eight is said to be the most unpredictable of numbers and can indicate the pinnacle of success or the depths of failure; the potential to go either way is present from the beginning. **

******9** **Represents completion and achievement to the fullest degree (as it is the complete number, three, expressed three times). Nines dedicate themselves to service, often as teachers, scientists, and humanitarians. Strongly determined, they work tirelessly and are an inspiration to others. However, they can also be arrogant and conceited when things don't go their way. ****A Little More Information on Arithmancy** **Like astrology, arithmancy claims to offer practitioners a system for determining favorable and unfavorable days for any individual. As a general rule, favorable days are supposed to be those that correspond to a person's character number. An "eight" personality, for example, would be advised to schedule important events like starting a business or getting married so that they occur on the 8th, 17th, or 26th of the month (each of which reduces to 8).**

**Since any name or word can be converted to a number, arithmancy is also used to reveal "hidden kinships" among people, places, and things-the theory being that words and names that share the same numerical value are related and naturally go together. Thus a "six," will be best off driving a brand of car that reduces to 6, like a Honda or a Toyota. A "two" will be most romantically compatible with another "two." "Fives" should consider living in a city that reduces to 5 (such as Tokyo or Pittsburgh), and so forth. Although we don't recommend it, virtually all of life's decisions can be made "according to the numbers," from the friends one associates with to the foods on the breakfast table (eggs 2, toast 3, corn flakes 4). **

Hermione scoffed. It was obviously taken off of some muggle site, Toyota indeed.

OH NO! did she dare speak badly about muggles?

Bad Granger, bad!

She was becoming more and more like Malfoy each day.

And she did _not _like it.

So.

Shut up, sub-conscious.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

She quickly computated her social, life and heart numbers.

HERMIONE GRANGER

Character Number: 4  
Heart Number : 4  
Social Number: 9

She tried to do Harry's

Character Number: 2  
Heart Number : 3  
Social Number: 8

hmm, bad match. She tried Ron's.

Character Number: 1  
Heart Number : 9  
Social Number: 1

Still bad. On the spur-of-the moment, she tried Malfoy's. What was his first name anyway?  
She had become so used to "Malfoy".

Riiiight. Draco Malfoy.

Character Number: 5  
Heart Number : 5  
Social Number: 9

She gasped. Hers was 4, 4, 9. His was 5, 5, 9. She was amazed.

Her arithmancy numbers matched. What could this mean?

**a/b, for those of you who didn't read my Arithmancy explanation, when your numbers match, you are most likely to be soon romantically invloved with the person! go on http/ find your number! Just so you you, mine are:**

**Anya Lewis-Meeks**

Character Number: 9  
Heart Number : 8  
Social Number: 1

**Or Anya Alissa Lewis Meeks**

Character Number: 7  
Heart Number : 1  
Social Number: 6

**See, this one is way long! Thanx for the great reviews!**

**Peaches,**

**Anya**


	13. Harry vs Draco

a/n-**special thanks to ms. ronupert grint for reviewing my stories for (almost) each updated chapter! That really was sweet! And also thanks to all who put me on their fave. stories/authors list, it was also really nice!**

**Quick Harry Potter the movie 4 poll**

Who's hotter?

a. Tom Felton, duh.  
b. Robert Pattinson, who else?  
c. Rupert Grint, did you need to ask?  
d. Daniel Radcliffe, I'm such a lead character fan!

OK, actually poll for my fanfic.

Should I put in some more Harry/Draco fight scenes, or Dramione fluff? Or go off topic like chapter 11!

a. ohhh, fight scenes.  
b.dramione fluff. what else?  
c. what were you saying? oh right, off topic i guess.  
d. all three! mwahahahahaha!

enough. Or i can't write the story.

**Chapter 13**

**Harry vs. Draco**

Malfoy was thinking. Yes thinking. And no, this was not a in punishable by law. OK, he was feeling kind of sorry for how he'd treated granger.

He'd almost murdered her in the ROR.

He hated it when she looked like that. All sad and stuff. But he seriously hated it when she was bossy too.

But did he really?

He shook his head to clear it, confused.

Then, Granger herself came up, her head stuffed in her book.

'Look, Granger...'

'Don't bother, alright Malfoy, just stop it.' She snapped.

Her wrist was hurting her badly, he had grabbed on to it in an attempt to stop her.

'Look, I'm sorry.' He said.

'For what?' hermione asked disbelievingly.

'For what I'm about to do now.' He smirked, and crushed his lips against hers.

It felt so right, her curves fit into his angles, so beautifully, then he realized the problem.

She wasn't _doing_ anything.

Her eyes were wide, with _fear_.

He didn't know what to say.

Her robe had been partially torn off her shoulder, and Harry was coming around the corner.

Oh no.

Ohnoohnoohnoohnoohnoohno.

He came up to Malfoy, and looked at Hermione, and then realization dawned on his face.

'hermione.' He said, dangerously softly. 'He tried to rape you.'

'No, Harry, stop, you don't understand...' Hermione tried.

'Look, Potter.'

'He fucking tried to rape you!'

'I'll kill him! Hermione, I'll kill him!' Harry yelled.

Malfoy looked nervously at Harry.

He'd never particularly felt like he was much of a threat, but it was rather scary to watch Harry looming over him, his wand in his hand.

'I'll kill you! _Cru...'_

'EXPELLIARMUS!' Yelled Hermione.

'Stop it, both of you! Look! LOOK AT NEVILLE!' She cried.

There was Neville, an odd sort of look on his face.

He wore a horrible lopsided grin, but he was sweating like a pig.

'Stop fighting, you might get caught!' He said in an incredibly false light-hearted voice.

'Harry, take Neville to the hospital wing. I'll deal with you, Malfoy.'

Malfoy felt a smirk playing on his lips.

She sounded so bossy, so much like a _teacher_!

He knew he would regret it, the instant her hand strayed to her wand.


	14. Tension

Chapter 14

OK, the polls are in. (One person voted, LOL) and the answer is:

d. Dramione fluff, off topic shit, and harry/draco fight scenes! Let the story commence!

Harry was furious.

How dare he?

How dare he hurt Hermione?

Malfoy was bad news, and he would certainly cut his throat if he thought Hermione didn't like him so much.

Yes, it was the sad and painful truth. There was no way Harry could get around it. Hermione _liked_ him! _Malfoy_! It was too much to handle. The perv, the man-whore, the bitch!

But, HErmione _liked _him!

he could see for himself!

Oh, god.

Hermione walked up to him.

'I can stand up for myself, you know.' She brushed past him.

They had DADA next.

With Malfoy and his bitch of a Dad.

Then Ron walked up to him.

'Mental, isn't he? With that dad of his, I'd be a downright perv too.'

'Don't blame it on lousy parentage, Ron. Look at me, I grew up with the Dursleys.'

'Well, whatever Harry, but Malfoy honestly needs to go stick his mouth up his--'

Lucius Malfoy sped past.

'Fifty points from Gryffindor for language and speaking the Malfoy name out of your bloodtraitor mouth.'

'Honestly, he's a complete.'

'Shut up.' Harry said, seeing Hermione come down the corridor.

'But how could Malfoy _do_ that to her? I mean, he practically raped her! And she actually did _nothing_!' Ron said.

Hermione rushed past them, tears flowing from her eyes.

'You've done it now, Weasley.' Malfoy, who appeared from a corner asked.

'Guess who's going to be the one to comfort her? Me.' Laughed Malfoy, as he rushed off to corner Hermione.

'Oh no you won't!' Harry yelled, cornering Malfoy.

'Relashio!'

'Potriosio!'

'Deseshtrio!'

'Allegro!'

'Tarantella!'

'Silencio!'

Harry, his eyes red with murder, legs dancing furiously, silenced Malfoy.

'This is what you get for hurting Hermione. Crucio!'

Malfoy screamed, eyes rolling madly in his head.

'Don't _ever_ mess with Hermione again! Understand? I think I'll let you suffer a little while longer. Let Pansy pick you up. later, if I'm unlucky enough.'

Harry left, leaving Malfoy silenced and writhing on the ground in pain.

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

It wasn't Pansy who picked Malfoy up.

It wasn't Harry, a twinge of conscience getting him.

Or Ron.

Or Crabbe.

Or Goyle, however in the hell he might do it.

It was...

(a/n, my sick, tiwsted humour. Scroll down)

o

o

o

o

o

o

o

o

...Hermione.

'Finite. Oh my god. Who did this to you? Who the fuck _did_ this to you?'

'Why don't you ask your fucking hitman, mudblood.' Malfoy spat.

Instantly immense dislike came to Hermione.

'Shut up, Malfoy.'

'Look, I'm bloody sorry! For fucking everything!'

'Oh, nice apology, Malfoy. god, why the hell do I put _up_ with you?'

'Because!'

'I hate you, you know that! And i _hate_ that _stupid_ name you call me. It's damn old, annoying and _hurtful_! Why the hell won't you leave me _alone_!'

'Because! I detest you! To the world's end!'

Dead silence.

'That came out wrong.'

'No, Malfoy, I think that came out perfectly right.'

A/N- do you like it? Oooh, tension.

More later.

Peaches,

Anya


	15. An Offer

Chapter 15

I wrote this chapter while listening to Gwen Stefani's bubble pop electric, pon de replay, and we be burning, so forgive me!

Hermione went cold. She had been so scared. Yes. scared. Oh. My. God. What the hell was wrong with him? Why did he _do_ that? That was it. He would make her prime slut #1 in Hogwarts, and not even Neville would want to talk to her. But why didn't he just make her seem slutty? These thoughts all ran through Hermione's head, until she overhead Harry and Ron talking.

'---Perv'

'Tried to rape her!'

'Shut up Ron!'

Harry had seen her. She hadn't meant to, but as she passed, she began to cry. God.

She sped past him, off to Arithmancy.

It became easily from one of her favourite subjects to so pointless and boring, that she felt uneasy and scared in Arithmancy.

Wait.

What?

She didn't hate Arithmancy because it was boring.

She hated it because _Malfoy_ was in it.

Riiiiiiiight.

So when she went in, it wasn't exactly a comfort to see him, smirking by himself, oblivious to the nagging taunts of the cruel world.

Professor Vectorhanded back her assignment.

E. _E_!

What the hell wrong was with it?

_Unreal experiences_.

She was supposed to write an experience about the fate of the numbers.

OK, maybe she didn't really have any _experience_ with foggy shit like that i.e. divination, but she felt she'd made a pretty good point.

She'd said her cat had the numbers 2 2 1. Unlike her own, 4 4 9. So what?

(a/n, go to w w w.s o r c e r s c o m p a n i o n. n e t / a r i t h m a n c y w/out the spaces, to check your numbers!)

Her cat then cast diffindo on her in her sleep. Then she'd gotten those awful marks on her hand (an LOl read chappie 2)

She'd been surprised she'd even scraped an E.

She felt kind of bad.

Prof. Vector called her up.

_Malfoy_ was there too.

Shit.

'Miss Granger, Mr. Malfoy, you are aware of the new Arithmancy program for the third years?'

No response.

'Well anyway, it is for the extremely gifted Arithmancy students of mine, and I have chosen you two. You have both been extremely compentent in your studies, and I would most certainly love it if you would participate. Well?' Professor looked at them expectantly.

Malfoy looked at Hermione.

Sneered at her.

'Of course not Professor Vector.' He smirked.

Hermione was relieved.

If not shocked, tremendously.

'All right, but the offer's still up if you want it.' Prof. Vector said, rather miffed.

'I don't think so Professor, but thank you.'

'Who knows, Miss Granger, you may have to anyway. Now run along, you'll miss your next class.' Professor Vector smiled, leaving Hermione looking fierce and red, and Malfoy smirking gleefully.

a/n, how was it? keep the reviews coming!

Ms Ronupert Grint  
2005-11-27  
ch 13, reply OMG! Like your chappie! But why does Neville come in? You should try to explain where they are  
! Anyways for your poll

H.P.4c,Rupert Grint,d'uh! I'm not that stupid! I stand up to my name :P!

fanfic polld, defenetly d!

Keep it up Anya!

P.S. I think that you're going to have a prob when J.K. finishes her 7 and final book cuz Herm's and Ronnikens' are supposed to be going out together! (I have been waiting for SO long!) Later!

answers- He just always comes in in the crucio parts. remember the fourth book? and for your p.s., yeah I know, and Melly pointed out that Fred and George left school in Herm's fifth year, but I didn't give a damn, and still don't now! And anyway, J's taking so long, I'll definitely be finished by then!

Peaches,

Anya


	16. Dance, Dance

Dance, Dance

If I get 20 reviews I will make my chappies 500 words +. I PROMISE! I'm thinking of deleting Nothing But a Memory, because unless i get more criticism I'll scrap it. Draco/Ginny is so hard to write anyway!

**Ms Ronupert Grint**  
**2005-12-03  
ch 15, ****reply** **lol, like your answer! Keep the chappies comming and your site didn't work...:(...Still, keep the good stories/chappies comming! **

Geni

Search (org? I don't remember) type in arithmancy, and at the bottom it will say something about Hogwarts and Arithmancy, and their will be a link to go to the sorcerers calculator or something like that, click it and be amazed! Loling

**Dance, Dance**

**"Dance, Dance" **

She says she's no good with words but I'm worse  
Barely stuttered out  
"A joke of a romantic" or stuck to my tongue  
Weighed down with words too over-dramatic  
Tonight it's "it can't get much worse"  
Vs. "no one should ever feel like.."

I'm two quarters and a heart down  
And I don't want to forget how your voice sounds  
These words are all I have so I'll write them  
So you need them just to get by

Dance, Dance  
We're falling apart to half time  
Dance, Dance  
And these are the lives you'd love to lead  
Dance, this is the way they'd love  
If they knew how misery loved me

You always fold just before you're found out  
Drink up its last call  
Last resort  
But only the first mistake and I...

I'm two quarters and a heart down  
And I don't want to forget how your voice sounds  
These words are all I have so I'll write them  
So you need them just to get by

Why don't you show me the little bit of spine  
You've been saving for his mattress, love

Dance, Dance  
We're falling apart to half time  
Dance, Dance  
And these are the lives you'd love to lead  
Dance, this is the way they'd love  
If they knew how misery loved me

Why don't you show me the little bit of spine  
You've been saving for his mattress (mattress, mattress)  
I only want sympathy in the form of you crawling into bed with me

Dance, Dance  
We're falling apart to half time  
Dance, Dance  
And these are the lives you'd love to lead

Dance this is the way they'd love (way they'd love)  
Dance this is the way they'd love (way they'd love)  
Dance this is the way they'd love  
If they knew how misery loved me

Dance, Dance  
Dance, Dance  
Dance, Dance  
Dance, Dance

The muggle song blared in Draco's mind. It was addicting.

Something about it, it got to him.

He felt himself understanding.

It applied to him, somehow.

.  
..  
...  
...  
...  
...  
...  
...  
...  
...  
...  
...  
...  
...  
...  
...  
...  
..  
.

He couldn't believe he'd passed up the chance with Professor Vector.

It was a once-in-a-life-time-oppurtunity!

It was a chance to tutor and bossy those little bratty third-years, those ultimate bitches who called themselves, "popular".

Did guys use the word, "bitch".

Draco used it, so guys much.

But did it sound gay?

He never felt sure of himself these days.

For some odd reason.

.  
..  
...  
...  
...  
...  
...  
...  
...  
...  
...  
...  
...  
...  
...  
...  
...  
..  
.

Hermione smoothed back her sheet of paper. It was her essay on the "Fate of the Numbers". see next chapter.

(a/n, I'm not sure if it is necessary, but the next chapter is going to be a collection of Hermione's stuff, vs. Malfoy's, so you can just kind of understand the unparalleled genius.

She looked at it from both angles.

Fine, but she felt weird.

Empty.

She ran to the bathroom.

Again.


	17. Veritaserum

Chapter 17

Veritaserum

a/n. I'm stopping at 20 chapters. I've thought of a _great_ ending!

Hermione stopped.

Malfoy was rushing down the corridor.

He pointed his wand at her, and she followed him.

He locked her in the room.

'_Why! Why are you doing this to me_?' She asked, tears pouring down her face.

'Veritasero!' Draco said, pointing the tip of his wand in the clear liquid; Veritaserum.

'What does Potter know about the Dark Lord's plans?'

When she spoke, her speech was dull, as if in a trance.

'He knows about the witching hour. You are not a death eater.'

'The witching hour? But how does he know?'

'Slytherins talk rarely, but Gryffindors listen well.' Hermione said vaguely.

'One more question. What can make you happy?' He turned a slight pink tinge.

'Something to want. Something to yearn for. To make this stop. This _pain_.' She said, her eyes spacing out. She went sharpely back into focus.

'Now look here--'

'Quiet. Mudblood. Now get out of my sight before I decide otherwise. _Finite_.' She was no longer following him.

She cursed rapidly, then left, angrily, wondering what she had been doing while she was in there.


	18. Love's a Bitch

Chapter 18

**Love's a Bitch**

Hermione smoothed back her hair.

This was it, it was her choice between life and death. She sat, rubbing her temples, afraid of being afraid.

Should she?

Disregard her whole life, her whole being for living?

Should she die, slowly, taking not but a free, willingly given kiss, sensuous and sweet?

Should she die, alone and friendless, noone to care for, no one to love?

Should she die, with no regard to others, only to herself.

She thought. This was it.

She would die.

She was about the suicide, slowly and carefully, when the cry of a soft voice crooned in her ear.

It was Fawkes.

0  
00  
000  
0000  
00000  
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0

Malfoy stopped.

This was it.

He couldn't bear it.

He needed to be with her, to help her succumb this _pain_.

But she wouldn't let him.

She pushed him away, unfeeling, uncaring.

He hated her.

He _loathed_ her.

He _detested_ her.

He loved her.

He moaned slowly, torn between the love of himself, and the love of his life.

He began to slowly feel remorse, although still jealousy, and extreme anger.

But it was as if everything bad in the world had stopped.

He had stopped _seeing _things.

He had stopped fucking Pansy.

Life was as it should be.

But, he loved her, changing everything.

Forever.

**Cassie Claier**  
**2005-12-05  
ch 1, ****reply**

**DRACO DONT FUCK NO MUDBLOODS!  
O man, how do I say this without breaking your heart?**

THIS SUCKS LLAMA BALLS! AHAHAHAHA!

Read my fic, it is lots better than this crap.

Your story sucks ice cream balls, so stop shitting on me you bloody fucking bastard! (my moment of cold hard, swearing)

You are such a jealous freak!

So suck someone's balls and get a damn life!

It's bitches like you who _burn me up_!

SHIT!

Sorry to be such a cool, calm person.

Fuck you, cassie.

Peaches,

Anya


	19. Dirty Blood

a/n. I'm sorry! I've never finished a fic. I can't believe I'm only a few chappies away! (tear, tear). Vote for sneak peek!

Should I say what happens next?

a. TELL ME BITCH!  
b. I suppose so.  
c.well, no, it'll screw up the story  
d. DON'T TELL ME BITCH!

P.S., Im doing this during exams, so you'd better love me for this!

**Chapter 19**

**Dirty Blood**

Hermione rushed to the ROR. She felt weird, finally playing after eight months.

What was it that chnaged her life? That brought out something in her, something that drew her to life?

It was the simple, true feeling of being pure.

But it didn't.

She wished it had.

Mudblood.

She hated it.

Dirty.

She felt unclean.

Once, when she was younger, and had just gotten her letter, she went to France with her parents.

One boy asked her if she felt dirty.

And why she never washed, or took any pride in herself.

While she _wanted_ to look so.

How he could tell what she was, she would never know.

But, she felt that it was her duty to be so perfect to get away from the teasing.

But then Malfoy came.

He made her feel so bad, as if everything went wrong.

'Mudblood,' So careless, so frivolous.

So tossed-to-the-winds.

Still, it made her feel like shit.

She walked out.

'Watch it Mudblood.' He said naturally.

All of a sudden, Hermione felt tension building up inside her.

She leaned closer and closer to him, walking in.

She moved so that his face was inches from her own.

And she...

a/n, HAHAHAHAHAHA ME AND MY SICK HUMOUR!

...slapped him.

'You'll pay for that Granger.' Malfoy snapped.

'I daresay I will. Rightly too.' She smirked.

She left, but felt a pang of guilt in her heart.


	20. The End numero uno

**Chapter 20 The End 1**

**Confuzzling Ending**

**Though I owed you guys a long chappie! Thanks to the author of _Lions of December _for the idea for my story!**

Happy Holidays!

OK guys, this is TWO YEARS LATER!

Hermione looked around her.

She was there. She had it _made_. Her boyfriend, Harry Potter sat beside her. They were at a special MOM function. Harry had become the youngest Head of the Department of Muggle Cooperation With the Wizarding World (DMCtripleW) and he and Hermione were planning to be married that August.

But something was _wrong_.

At the head of the table, was not sitting the Minister of Magic, Dexter Rambishan, but a sleek, whiteblond head, grinning from ear to ear.

Fuck no.

But it was.

_Yes it was_!

_Malfoy_.

'Afternoon Mr. Malfoy.' Nodded the Head of the Department of Magical Creatures.

'Yes.' Malfoy said impatiently. 'Miss _Granger_! And Potter.' He added as an afterthought.

Harry nodded curtly.

'Why didn't you _tell _me! He's not the one in charge of the answer of our proposal!' Hermione whispered out of the corner of her mouth.

Harry looked away.

'We've come for our proposal on the extending of Muggle co-operation laws.' I jumped in.

'Yes, our proposal involves--' Harry started.

'I bet you are all wondering why old Rambishan isn't here, but the poor old boy is thinking of retiring soon, and I am to act in place of him until he sufficiently well to appoint a new Minister of Magic.' Malfoy smiled, showing off beautiful milk-white teeth.

'_Poor old boy_? Dexter Rambishan is hardly sixty, and I'm sure he would not appoint an _eighteen year old_ to take over from him! Money must be involved somehow Mr. Malfoy!' Hermione snapped.

Malfoy's smile grew even more

'Miss Granger, if you cannot speak any sense, please leave.' He smiled.

Hermione shut up.

The proposal depended on her silence.

'As I was _saying_, Mr. Malfoy, the proposal is to allow Muggles a little more free space, that is allowing for some small movement between those pureblood families magically inclined to kicking out muggles from their neighbourhoods. The only natural places without Muggles are Diagon Alley and the Leaky Cauldron.' Harry said quickly, not wanting to be cut off.

'To do so,' Hermione put in, 'We will need the approval of the Minister of Magic, and funding for other magical communities, or to try and create a program to increase Muggle/Magic cooperation. Either way we will need at least 20,000 galleons.'

Malfoy smiled.

'Is that all? If that is so, the other Ministry officials can leave. I'll uh, tell my personal assistant to see them out.' He clapped is hands, and a hooded-clad man walked to the table slowly.

As he walked, drops of ruby red liquid dripped on the immaculate white Malfoy egyptian cotton carpet.

Hermione washed him brush his hair out of his eyes.

Oh no.

_Fuck no_!

It was Fenrir Greyback!

The Ministry officials gasped in surprise.

But it was too late.

Greyback had an insane grin on his face.

They left, all rather nervous.

Malfoy snapped his fingers.

In waiters ran, carrying the main course.

Turkey and ham.

Perfect for the Christmas season.

Ham glazed with pineapples was Harry's weakness.

He discreetly took a bite of the ham.

Malfoy seemed too busy with his watch to notice Hermione ignore the food on her plate.

'3...2...1' Hermione heard Malfoy mutter.

Almost immeadiately, Harry's skin began to blotch.

He began to itch like crazy, and raised bumps appeared on his skin.

'Fuck it...' Hermione said, looking at his skin.

'Malfoy!' She said.

He didn't listen.

'MALFOY!' She yelled.

There was no answer.

'Fuck it Malfoy! What is wrong with HARRY!' She bellowed.

Malfoy looked up.

'Is he _allergic _to ham?' He asked.

'I don't know! Help him _please_!' She cried.

'All right, fine. Salista! Brocis!' He snapped his fingers again.

A man and a woman healer came, and they conjured stretchers for Harry.

'I have to stay.' Hermione said.

'No!' Harry cried.

'If not, we won't get the proposal on the bill!'Hermione cried.

He knew it. That was his point.

Merlin, he was good.

Hermione walked back in.

She sat as far as she could from Malfoy.

'Dear Miss Granger, you haven't touched your dinner.' He smiled, pointing to the food.

'Thank you _Mister Malfoy_, but I believe I prefer dessert.' Hermione smiled fakely. The instance she said it, she regretted it.

'That can be arranged, Madame Granger.' He immediately called for it.

'Come now, I cannot hear you from all the way over there.' He smiled.

Hermione edged closer.

And closer,

Until she was right next to him.

'So, about this bill. You know I want nothing to do with it. But to get my approval...'

He looked at me carefully, wanting to see what I would do next.

'Fuck it Malfoy, what do you want?'

I said nothing.

I knew what he wanted.

I could see it in his eyes.


	21. The End numero dos

_Chapter 20 (alternate)_

_The End, oh so sadly_

Hermione Malfoy opened her eyes. The burn marks circled her upper arms, but it didn't matter anymore.

She knew why.

She laughed faintly, a strange sound to becoming from her seemingly transparent mouth.

She would always lie to herself about this part.

That when he was alive, they were happy together, that they _belonged_.

She smiled again, the dramatic irony of the moment was humourless, yet indicated that a sweet, sorrowful laugh was in order.

She reached in between her breasts, touching the small scar that she found there.

God, it had been so long since he'd touched her.

He'd been so _aggresive_, so obvious in his attraction to her.

Her mind.

Her body.

Her soul.

He no longer wanted what she _could_ give him.

He wanted totake what she had.

Her mind.

Her body.

Her soul.

His dreams started to fill him, and her presence.

She couldn't _take_ it anymore!

She needed to feel that she had a life worth _living_!

She cried.

And cried.

He cried.

And died.

She would always remember his death.

The knife cut his arm.

His circulation.

She would never forget the look on his face, on hers when everyday after that, he haunted her.

'It's me, 'Mione.' He would croon, using the name no-one ever called her.

As a ghost, he murdered Harry.

Ron.

Ginny.

Dumbledore.

And made it clear that he wanted to murder her too.

She became his object of play.

His toy.

His whore.

He knew she liked what he gave her.

Knew she wanted it, yet hated herself for the impulses that wrappe themselves slowly around her mind.

They were meant to be, yet so brutally torn apart.

He died.

And she cried.

He haunted her every day of her life.

He died.

And she cried.

She was living a lie, dead for twenty years of her life.

She died.

He died.

Her suicide.

**"Tourniquet"**

i tried to kill the pain  
but only brought more  
i lay dying  
and i'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal  
i'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming  
am i too lost to be saved  
am i too lost?

my God my tourniquet  
return to me salvation  
my God my tourniquet  
return to me salvation

do you remember me  
lost for so long  
will you be on the other side  
or will you forget me  
i'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming  
am i too lost to be saved  
am i too lost?

my God my tourniquet  
return to me salvation  
my God my tourniquet  
return to me salvation

i want to die!

my God my tourniquet  
return to me salvation  
my God my tourniquet  
return to me salvation

my wounds cry for the grave  
my soul cries for deliverance  
will i be denied Christ  
tourniquet  
my suicide

(Evanescence)

* * *

(a/n) Wasn't that a great ending? I cried _buckets_ while reading it!

Evanescence, you rock my socks!

OK, maybe not, but you totally provided the, _perfect_ ending!

I should have warned those weak-stomached not to read it.

Screw them, my ending rocks!

Peaches,

Anya


	22. The End finale

A/N-I can't believe this is my last chapter of this story! I loved every minute of reading it, but it will be undergoing some _major_ adjustments as of March 6, 06

The End Finale

Hermione walked out into the sunshine. She rarely ever saw her friends anymore. Even now, after Voldemort had been temporarily defeated, Harry and Ron still dreaded to meet her at anywhere that had the words "CAUTION" roped over the entrance. Silly boys. They would never truly understand the simplicity of the situation.

Everyone knew that Voldemort was on standby.

Although, she couldn't really blame Harry for being afraid. _Neither can live while the other survives_, she'd be scared shitless as well. Ah well, Hermione thought to herself, as she waved her wand brightly. A dark red robe folded up briskly.

She smiled inwardly.

Poor Harry and Ron. They'd been forced to live in exile.

The Order.

La!

What a way to spend their last teenage years.

All she'd have to do was spy on Mr. Malfoy.

An important ministry official.

It was not much to do.

Even as she brightly folded up the clothes, her newly disguised black hair shielding her face, she heard footsteps on the green, dewey grass.

'Tessa! TESSA! Merlin, where the hell are you? Why the fuck don't you come when I _call?' _Called the head cook, Karana.

A pretty name for such a foul woman.

Hermione signed carefully.

**I'm Coming**

She signed to Tessa.

'Good girl! I get tired of you not answering!' She snapped, under all her dirty sailor attitude, she cared more about her than the scullery maids did.

**Sorry I'm late, Karana. I have work.**

Hermione had to learn ESL (english sign language) to work on her 'investigation' of Mr. Malfoy.

She followed Karana inside, taking in the sights around her like some ditsy cheerleader.

She was dumb, not deaf, in this mission.

**Do you know where Mr. Malfoy is?**

Hermione signed.

'Why, girl?' Asked Karana, stopping her brisk walk and turning around to face Hermione, suspiciously.

**He has something for me. **

Hermione signed, her hands stumbling over the lie. She couldn't even lie with her hands.

Karana looked at her again.

Hermione struggled to act like a bimbo, as if she didn't know what she was doing.

'He hasn't been around. And you can't see him until you finish your work. Mrs. Head's orders.' Karana said, referring to Mrs. Malfoy as always, Mrs Head, being the work-hard kind of woman she was.

Hermione hung her head.

She had been hoping to get some information before the day's out.

'Well, if you need it so bad, I'll have Kansa to get it for you.' Karana said.

**No, it's all right. I'll just get it by day's end then.**

Hermione said.

Karana smiled, as if to say, 'Ah-hah.'

They walked briskly again after that, then stopped at a grey door.

Karana turned the knob.

Hermione at once set to work on curtsying in front of the butler, Young.

**Good evening, Mr. Young. How are you today?**

She signed.

'Do stop it, Tessa. You know I hate all of that knee-cracking crap, girl.' He said. 'As you all know,' he gestured to the servants, 'Mr. Malfoy will soon be inserting a new process called, Magic Ability Level For Obsolute YoungAdults. MALFOY.' He grinned.

**Actually, it's M-A-L-F-O-Y-A**

Hermione signed.

Gasps went around the room, while those who could decipher ESL explained quickly to their friends what she had said.

'Tessa, if you could refrain from being a moron, _Young Adults IS HERE CONSIDERED AS ONE WORD_!' Young bellowed.

**Sorry**

'Anyway, we will be tested on our magic ability, and on our bloodline. IF you are not pureblood, FORGET it.' Young snapped.

Hermione groaned inwardly.

That had made her job that much harder.

She would have to meet Mr. Malfoy after the Test. Merlin onlyknows if he picked her to do it then.

* * *

A few weeks later, it was time for the test. 

Mr. Malfoy walked the line of the servants, pulling out his wand.

Young was passed successfully. He stood on the other side of the room.

Arabella was passed.

Karana.

Kansa.

Lilia.

Beth.

Taren.

Justin.

Etc.

Uma was called. Malfoy turned his hand on her arm.

An electric shock passed through her.

She was dead.

* * *

Hermione quivered as Mr. Malfoy stood in front of her. 

'Meet me later.' He said to her, pretending to run his wand along her bare arms.

**Gladly.**

* * *

She walked into his office. He sat as his desk. 

'I must like you.' He said, smiling.

She struggled to think of something to sign. Nothing came.

'I also know who you _are_. Come here, Mudblood Granger.' He said.

Inside of her, something itched to go.

Common sense.

She walked up to him.

'Good.' He said, pulling her to him.

'Then you know you are _very_ lucky to be here, Hermione. Very lucky.' He said, his breath hot on her neck.

'Yes.' She said, her voice hoarse after years of being out of use.

'I've always liked you Hermione.' Mr. Malfoy said, his tongue running over her mouth, nibbling her lip.

'It's been the same for me, Draco.' She said, as she felt his groin on her inner thigh.

'Mrs.Malfoy must be worried about where I am.' She said, gasping for air.

'Mother? Unlikely. The only place you will stay is here. Do you understand?' he said, pushing his tongue through her lips, seeking out the crevices in the back of her throat.

The room was hot.

'Yes.' She said, her voice coming out huskily rather than hoarse.

'Then you also know that I can, _will_ not stop until I get you to _love _me. _Understand_? Even if it means keeping you as my servant. My _slave_.' He said, his hands tracing circles over her breasts.

'Yes.' She said, sounding both scared and annoyed. Scared because she knew that he wouldn't lie. Annoyed because of the pleasure she felt from his kisses.

Annoyed with him, and annoyed with herself.

Her voice caught in her throat.

'I--hate you.' She said, hesitating.

It was what she had always said to Malfoy.

It was what she always would.

He let go of her. He walked out of the office, leaving her to wallow in self-pity, waiting for when the Order would take her away.


End file.
